What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
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