Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Go to BabaMail
