My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.