I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
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