I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
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