Car puns are really tiring
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.