Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Car puns are really tiring
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
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