It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
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