Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
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