What do you call a food waste disposter installed in the sink?
In-sink-erator
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
What do you call a perfume that missed its deadline?
Eau de too late.
My job installed this new faucet.
I'm really faucinated by it.
I used too much of my wife’s moisturizer after taking my shower this morning.
So I called in slick for work today.
Dialysis is a blood bath.
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
I forgot to put on deodorant this morning, so I went to the store on my way to work.
It was a quick pit stop.
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
Did you hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
The scent of old spies gave him away.
I just broke my wife’s favorite perfume bottle, she’s gonna be fuming!
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
If your hair is long enough when shampooing...
Does Head & Shoulders then become Knees & Toes?
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.
In Oral, B.
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?
Because it's a little rough.
What do you call a faucet in the capital of Belgium?
A Brussels spout.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
My dad dumps expired peas down the drain. Then he looks at me and says:
“Hey, I peed in the sink”
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
What did the showerhead say to the conditioner?
"Get outta hair!"
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
I tripped over a floor tile in the bathroom today. Got out alright, but it's safe to say...
I got floored.
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
All farts...are laughing gas.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
"Hey, dad, there's a leak in the sink. Should I call the plumber?"
"No silly, just put it in the fridge!"