Why do people say "hit the showers"
What did the showers ever do to you?
Slightly disappointed that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders" have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
I saw a show where all the man did was sit on the toilet.
It was a s**tshow.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
I just won local "Worst Body Odor Contest".
No one else came close.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
Why doesn't the tooth fairy like dental instruments?
She finds them obtooth.
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
Why did the sponge wake up early?
To get the moist out of the day.
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
I used to be addicted to soap.
I’m clean now.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?
[removed]
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
I do not like lotion at all.
It really gets under my skin.
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
What is the most disgusting perfume ever made?
Eau de colon.
You're not allowed to eat teeth
It's for-bitten.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
Mascara and lipstick broke up last week.
Now they are trying to make-up!
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
I asked my friend for a tube of toothpaste. He gave me the smallest tube I’ve ever seen.
Next time, I’ll ask for teethpaste.
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?
Cause they dumbbell dry.
What do you call a little tune about atmospheric moisture?
A humi-ditty.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
What did the toothpaste wear to the club?
A tube top!
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