A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
I think it was Scampoo.
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
The directions for my new dandruff shampoo are very confusing.
It's a real head-scratcher!
If your hair is long enough when shampooing...
Does Head & Shoulders then become Knees & Toes?
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
A thief stole my toothbrush.
It left a bad taste in my mouth.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
A lot of people can't figure out the right way to dry their towels.
It's just something they tend to get hung up on.
Dialysis is a blood bath.
Ever use one of those expensive toothbrushes?
It's breath-taking.
I used too much of my wife’s moisturizer after taking my shower this morning.
So I called in slick for work today.
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
To all ya'll without tap water,
Get well soon.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!
What do you call a toilet perched on top of an active volcano?
The lavatory.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
How do sponges talk to the devil?
They use a squeegee board.
I have no idea what I'm doing with eyeliner
To be honest, I just wing it.
France gave perfumes to countries it dominated in the past...
That was classic Colognialism.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
I bought some clear, liquid hand-soap today.
Got home and realized that I can't use it...
My hands are solid, and opaque.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
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