What do you call a little tune about atmospheric moisture?
A humi-ditty.
Why do volcanoes need lotion?
So they dont get ashy.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
I do not like lotion at all.
It really gets under my skin.
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
My dad was fixing the basin in the bathroom and accidentally broke some tiles.
My mother said, "I told you that method would be fewtile".
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
To all ya'll without tap water,
Get well soon.
I accidently sprayed deoderant in my mouth
Now every time I speak I have a weird Axe Scent.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
What do you call pig shampoo?
Hogwash.
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
If your hair is long enough when shampooing...
Does Head & Shoulders then become Knees & Toes?
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
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