Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
What do you call a deodorant that's never happy?
A deodor-rant.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
I need more soap puns!
Because all the good ones keep slipping through my fingers.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
What did one soap molecule say to the other soap molecule in prison?
"Get out. This is micelle"
I was washing the car with my son, until he said...
“Dad, please, can’t you just use a sponge?”
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
To all ya'll without tap water,
Get well soon.
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
Prince Charles is selling his towel.
If anybody wants a heir dryer...
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
What is the invisible man's favorite shampoo?
Clear.
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
Why did the deer get braces?
Because he had buck teeth.
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
What did the duck say when she purchased new lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?'
He said 'No, just up to your neck'
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
I used too much of my wife’s moisturizer after taking my shower this morning.
So I called in slick for work today.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
Why doesn't the tooth fairy like dental instruments?
She finds them obtooth.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs...
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
Towels.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
A lot of people can't figure out the right way to dry their towels.
It's just something they tend to get hung up on.
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.