How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
Dialysis is a blood bath.
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
Our local store had a problem with people stealing their feminine hygiene products,
so they installed a padlock.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
My wife asked me to help her apply mascara...
It was an eye-opening experience.
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
My dentist says I don't brush enough but hey-
We all have our floss.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper!
It was a pain in the a**
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
What cosmetic does DNA put on?
Genetic makeup.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
I just broke my wife’s favorite perfume bottle, she’s gonna be fuming!
"Hey, dad, there's a leak in the sink. Should I call the plumber?"
"No silly, just put it in the fridge!"
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant...
Dirty Bastards.
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...
But it was a pack of lyes.
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
I bought a larger sink with a built in subwoofer.
My current one doesn't have enough basin.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
My shampoo bottle was empty. I turned to the only other bottle in the shower and said, "help me body wash...
You're my only soap!"
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
What did the toothpaste wear to the club?
A tube top!
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
Prince Charles is selling his towel.
If anybody wants a heir dryer...
Go to BabaMail
