Why are the tiles in your shower so jolly?
They're having a grout time.
Have you ever seen a girl done makeup while camping?
It's pretty in tents.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
Why did the cows have towels? To keep each udder dry.
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
You're not allowed to eat teeth
It's for-bitten.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
I don't know don't about your faucet, but mine is doing a pour job.
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
I wonder...
How much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Britain’s most common owl? The teatowel.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
I saw a show where all the man did was sit on the toilet.
It was a s**tshow.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
I was washing the car with my son, until he said...
“Dad, please, can’t you just use a sponge?”
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...
But it was a pack of lyes.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
I always start my day with makeup. It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
My wife says to me this morning "Our son's toothbrush is getting fraid"
I say "What's it so fraid of?"
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
If your hair is long enough when shampooing...
Does Head & Shoulders then become Knees & Toes?
I couldn't shave this morning because someone stole my mirror.
The police are looking into it.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
When does makeup run?
When you mascare it off.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
Go to BabaMail
