Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
Why did the sponge wake up early?
To get the moist out of the day.
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
A Molar Bear.
What cosmetic does DNA put on?
Genetic makeup.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
My shampoo bottle was empty. I turned to the only other bottle in the shower and said, "help me body wash...
You're my only soap!"
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
What do you call a deodorant that's never happy?
A deodor-rant.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?...
You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?
Because they washup on shore.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
I used to be addicted to soap.
I’m clean now.
"Hey, dad, there's a leak in the sink. Should I call the plumber?"
"No silly, just put it in the fridge!"
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
Why are sponges such good listeners?
Because they soak up everything.
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
Cold showers are the best...
...Once you warm up to them
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
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