I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
Slightly disappointed that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders" have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
Here’s my best advice for getting a job in the lotion industry:
Apply daily.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
I tripped over a floor tile in the bathroom today. Got out alright, but it's safe to say...
I got floored.
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
Why did the deer get braces?
Because he had buck teeth.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?
It will surely end in a cat-astrophe.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?
Because it's a little rough.
I do not like lotion at all.
It really gets under my skin.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
I wanted to redo the flooring in my bathroom, but I did not have enough tiles...
It was a few'tile effort.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
I got tear-free soap in my eye.
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying.
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
What do you call a perfume that missed its deadline?
Eau de too late.
Putting on makeup and putting on glasses serve the same purpose...
They make the person look better!
Why don’t Satanic boats ever sink?
Because they’re Unholy.
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie?
Jaws.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What did one soap molecule say to the other soap molecule in prison?
"Get out. This is micelle"
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
I used to be addicted to soap.
I’m clean now.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
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