I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
I red a joke about colors once.
It blue my mind.
Why did the artist use the bathroom? Because she was consta-painted.
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
I recently ran a charity marathon to promote greener earth, but the run left me a little jaded.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
Who do you call a pig who can paint like a great artist? Pablo PIGcaso.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
The artist thought she was all that and pen some.
A con artist is an artist who draws pictures of criminal suspects.
I told the artist that his painting was terrible. I think he got the picture.
Q. Which famous magician always wore a multi-color suit on stage?
A. Hue-dini.
Blackboards love drinking beverages, especially hot white chalk-olate!
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
Though my brother won the art competition, he went up to his rival and gave him the credit where it was hue!
Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
The Earth without 'art'...
....is 'EH'
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
What was the artist's favorite swimming stroke? The brushstroke.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
My friend impresses girls by drawing realistic pictures of trucks. He's a pickup artist!
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Why did the artist cross the street? To crosshatch to the other side.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
Once I tried to paint the sky but I blue it.
It's weird being colorblind in an art gallery. Everything's a pigment of the imagination.
A friend of mine swallowed some food colouring. He feels he dyed a little inside.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
The painter loved to paint because he was drawn to art.
The color turquoise was judged as the best new color because it was cyantifically proven to be.
What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
What did one paint say to another when they got in an argument? Don't use that tone with me.
Q. Where do red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet crayons like to go hiking?
A. Colorado.
As the incessant rain washed away the blue paint of the house, the owner sighed and said, "Cyanara!"
TV news anchors love the shades of red. They get serious whenever there is Burgundy.
Q. What do you get when you combine Blue Agave and literature?
A. Tequila Mockingbird
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why did the artist get into a heated argument with the gallery curator? He just wasn't in the right frame of mind.
Did you hear about the artist's really messy house? He said it was 'a work in progress'.
Why did the bald man decide to paint a bunch of rabbits on his head? He thought that they could look like hares from a distance.
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