Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Which color is the fastest?
Red, because it is always redy.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
If art became imprisoned we'd have to Freda art.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
The artist successfully climbed the highest peak in the country. He attributed his success to the song, 'Paint No Mountain Higher!'
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Did you see the display of still-life art? It was not at all moving.
What's the difference between a colorful women's garment and a famous live music venue?
One's a house of blues, the other's a blouse of hues.
After completing the deadline just in the nick of time, the artist breathed a cyan of relief.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Can anyone advise me what color my hair is?
I find it's a bit of a grey area.
Q: What did the artist say to the dentist?-
A: Matisse hurt
A small step for cyan, a giant leap for bluemanity.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Why did the artist get into a heated argument with the gallery curator? He just wasn't in the right frame of mind.
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Why was the painter upset when his doctor bought all of his paintings? The doctor thought the paintings would go up in value after his death.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.
I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique
But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
If a painter ever feels stressed or troubled, they take a vacation to the hills. It will easel their mind!
I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light. Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
TV news anchors love the shades of red. They get serious whenever there is Burgundy.
What do you call a painting by a cat of herself? A self paw-trait.
It's tough to tell if the sky is ever happy or not. It always looks so blue!
Dreaming in color is the artist's pigment of imagination.
The nurse always carried a red pen in her pocket in case she needed to draw blood.
What's a lion's favorite color?
ROARange
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
The sun's favorite color is ultraviolet. Apparently, it glows with everything.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
The graphic designer's present company gave her a substantial raise while a rival company also gave a similar offer. I am now caught in hue minds!
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.
It wasn't 2b.
Where will you find an FBI sketch artist? In the bureau drawer.
Why does everyone paint Easter Eggs? Because it is a lot easier than wallpapering them.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects? A con artist.
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state-of-the-art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.
They're calling it Mercedes-clenz.
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