My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
My favorite denim blue jeans just turned brown. I think I will have to call it Dung-arees!
Why did the artist get into a heated argument with the gallery curator? He just wasn't in the right frame of mind.
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Why did you fall in love with the Paris art museum? It was just Louvre at first site.
What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he just didn't have an ear for music.
Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
I'd hate to be the bearer of bad blues.
One should never mix oranges in apple juice. Well, perhaps you may do it once in a blue moon.
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
Elephant boxing matches are very difficult to watch. It becomes tough to identify as both have grey trunks!
Q: How does an artist fill in a CV?
A: He draws on experience.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
The painter wanted to feel the texture, so he buttered his toast with his fingers.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Why does everyone paint Easter Eggs? Because it is a lot easier than wallpapering them.
A con artist is an artist who draws pictures of criminal suspects.
The art teacher encourages her students to move in the light direction.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
My friend was going to a painting competition, so I wished him, "Grey the force be with you".
What was the artist's favorite swimming stroke? The brushstroke.
The leech, who is good at drawing blood, applied for a job in an art gallery.
What did the artist say to his old friend? Let's clay in touch.
It's weird being colorblind in an art gallery. Everything's a pigment of the imagination.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
Aliens hate playing golf in space as there are too many black holes!
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
I was really surprised when I learned that singer Pink's favorite color was actually green. No one could have i-magenta-it.
Do black and white count as colors?
It's a gray area.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
They say that she only paints night scenes. Other artists really pale by comparison.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Why did the artist cross the street? To crosshatch to the other side.
When you meet someone, you don't want to get off to a bad art!
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
Why can you never trust an artist? Because they are a bit sketchy, a little shady and will always try to frame you.
I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy. Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.
My sister was diagnosed as color blind. The revelation really came out of the blue.
The Earth without 'art'...
....is 'EH'
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
The painting was framed, so the cops arrested it.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
The coffee shop owner was afraid. He wanted to know if the shop had ground to operate in the black.
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