Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
"Sip happens."
"Here for the right riesling."
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"I need to re-wine my life."
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
"Be kind, re-wine."
"Alcohol you later."
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"You had me at merlot."
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"Back that glass up."
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
"Time to wine down."
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"Great minds drink alike."
"Adulting makes me wine."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"Sip, sip hooray."
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"Partners in wine."
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Love the wine you're with."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!