"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
"Here for the right riesling."
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
"You can't sip with us."
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"It's wine o'clock."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
"Alcohol you later."
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"Read between the wines."
"I need to re-wine my life."
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
"No wine left behind."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"Great minds drink alike."
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"On cloud wine."
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"You had me at merlot."
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Sip, sip hooray."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
"Sip happens."
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
"Back that glass up."