"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
"Sip, sip hooray."
"Time to wine down."
"You can't sip with us."
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"Here for the right riesling."
"You had me at merlot."
"Say you'll be wine."
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
You’re wine in a million.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!