The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Rosé all day."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"Sip happens."
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"Time to wine down."
"Sip, sip hooray."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"Read between the wines."
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
"Alcohol you later."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Love the wine you're with."
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"You had me at merlot."
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"Say you'll be wine."
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"Partners in wine."
"No wine left behind."
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!