"You can't sip with us."
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"Sip, sip hooray."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
"Adulting makes me wine."
"Alcohol you later."
"I make pour decisions."
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Rosé all day."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
"Time to wine down."
"Say you'll be wine."
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"I need to re-wine my life."
"No wine left behind."
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"You're the wine that I want."
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Be kind, re-wine."
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!