"It's wine o'clock."
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
"Great minds drink alike."
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
"Partners in wine."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"No wine left behind."
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"Be kind, re-wine."
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"You had me at merlot."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"I need to re-wine my life."
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
"I mead more wine."
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
"Sip happens."
You’re wine in a million.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"Rosé all day."
"You're the wine that I want."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!