"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"I make pour decisions."
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Will you accept this rosé?"
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
"Be kind, re-wine."
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
"No wine left behind."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
"Back that glass up."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Sip, sip hooray."
"Alcohol you later."
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
"Adulting makes me wine."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
"Love the wine you're with."
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.