I need to take this picture for my instayam
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
This foundation is rock salad.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Time to celery-brate.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
I think therefore I yam.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
I yam what I yam.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
Keep calm and carrot on.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What a spud muffin.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
I love you from my head tomato
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.