What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Everybody romaine calm.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
I love you from my head tomato
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
This foundation is rock salad.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Keep calm and carrot on.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.