What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
I think therefore I yam.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
I love you from my head tomato
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.