What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Time to celery-brate.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What a spud muffin.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
Keep calm and carrot on.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
I yam what I yam.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
I love you from my head tomato