Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
I yam what I yam.
This foundation is rock salad.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What a spud muffin.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
Time to celery-brate.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
I hope for world peas.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.