Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
This foundation is rock salad.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Everybody romaine calm.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What a spud muffin.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Time to celery-brate.
I yam what I yam.
I hope for world peas.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
I think therefore I yam.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
I love you from my head tomato
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Keep calm and carrot on.