You and I make a deluxe combo.
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”
…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
Why did the man go into the pizza business?
He wanted to make some dough.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
Pizza: the only time top-less isn't fun
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
Join us for a slice of fun.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!