Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”
…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
You and I make a deluxe combo.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
Join us for a slice of fun.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
Pizza: the only time top-less isn't fun
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
Why did the man go into the pizza business?
He wanted to make some dough.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
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