I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.