Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.