Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.