Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.