What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!