What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.