Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast