I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.