Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.