What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.