What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.