What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”