While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.