The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.