I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.