What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”