Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”