Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.