I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.