Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”