No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.