Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.