I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.