Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!