What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!