What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.