Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.