What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.