What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.