Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.