You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.