Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.