What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.