There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.