Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.