What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.