You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant