The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!