You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.