Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.