Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.