Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!