Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”