What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!