Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!