Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
I hope for world peas.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.