What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
Pizza: the only time top-less isn't fun
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.